WHEN A MAN LOVES A WOMAN

We’ve already gone past the love month, and yet a huge population is still making love trend all over cyberspace like it’s February 14 all over again. Notwithstanding the fact that we have quite a number of June weddings to celebrate, we also have to thank Brad Pitt for firing up romance among netizens who shared the transcript of his declaration of love to Angelina Jolie (shortly after the latter’s mastectomy). Not only did his confession earned him gazillion pogi points among fans, it also made us recognize the fact that even the most macho of all can possess such gentility, limitless patience, and undying love for his partner.  

I, for one, was deeply touched when I read the Hollywood star’s statement. I do admire men who come out in the open and express love and devotion to their partner. It’s a relief to know that there are still many them who exist in our world today, and I’m more than grateful to have snagged one for myself. I also find comfort in the fact that my gal pals have found a good man in their better half. I guess, regardless of time and age, we girls still hope and pray to find our own prince charming. Some would even “Google” for one. 

When you find love, you hope that it lasts forever. Each year poses different challenges and triumphs, and you try to make life lovelier and sweeter by the day. Marriage is not easy, most would say. You really have to work at it.  

This thought popped into mind the upcoming 20^th wedding anniversary of my photographer-friend Paul and his wife Nina. This pair is one of the many I consider as power couples who have triumphed through the test of time. I describe Paul and Nina as cool, hip, spontaneous, and far from boring. This couple started dating when they were 16 years old, got separated and reunited after 8 years, and have remained strong and together even two decades after.

 

 

Listening to Paul’s narration of their love made me feel like a little kid again, on those nights that I’d listen to fairytales with my face propped on my hands and my elbows on my pillow. 

“Our courtship was akin to something which may be considered spontaneous. When Nina came home from the USA in 1992, she lived and worked in Manila. I would go and visit her every month and she would come to Davao whenever there was an opportunity to do so. Being so close and yet still apart made us take the leap of faith. We got married on June 26, 1993 at 5 o'clock in the afternoon at San Pablo Parish.”  

“It was an afternoon wedding. My maternal grandmother came from Bacolod to attend the wedding. She was accompanied by majority of my mom’s brothers and sisters, as well as the siblings of my father. My mom comes from a fairly large family of 16 brothers and sisters. It was an intimate party with just our immediate family, aunts, uncles, and cousins around. The wedding was celebrated by Archbishop Antonio Mabutas, concelebrated by 12 other priests.”

“After the wedding, we crossed the street to join the party at the residence of my parents. The house was overflowing to say the least. My mom lovingly transformed the tennis court into a reception area. The party just went on even when rain poured after dinner.” 

Asked on how he finds Nina as wife, Paul gives me a brief description.

 

“Over the years, Nina has grown from being very ‘western,’ having lived in America for close to a decade, to taking on a role of being a mother, taking care of herself, taking responsibility in our professional life, and growing with me. She plays multiple roles --- wife, daughter, mother, partner, lover, and friend. She adapts and transcends roles that she takes to a higher standard unto herself.”

Marriage is not all play. It also requires a lot of communication and effort to make it work and last forever. Paul expounds on how they have managed to stay happy together all this time.

“Nina and I can communicate in almost all levels. We can work and discuss very serious matters and switch to something totally ridiculous. We enjoy investing time with each other in simple activities. We thrive through the challenges and obstacles, and we revel in our accomplishments together.”

“I have never been one to label myself as a husband but more as a friend. As expected of a friend, I support, cherish, honor and love my wife as an equal in everything we do; forgive the shortcomings and focus on the beauty that we experience in our family and personal relationships.”

 

As if he read my mind, Paul goes full circle and paints me a picture of how Nina completes him.

“Love is a very difficult emotion to describe but to sum it all, I would be lost, incomplete, irresponsible, and directionless without Nina. I cannot imagine myself with anyone else.” :)

“I look forward to love, life, laughter, mutual respect, weddings, birthdays, challenges surmounted and more celebrations. I am blessed to be with Nina and to be in love with her, and I will be blessed still to grow old with her.”

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Story published on my newspaper column, Metro Mom.

A1, INdulge section, Edge Davao, Vol. 6 Issue 73, 26 June 2013.